Dating in your late thirties

By Laura Lifshitz There you are, ready for love in your late thirties, yet you’re either entering the dating world after a big breakup/divorce or you’re the last of your friends to be married off.

It can be discouraging, and everyone tells you, “Oh, you’re still so young. ” But it seems like you’d have a better shot at winning the lottery than finding the right match. Giving up is for quitters and you aren’t a quitter.

Having spent a good year getting reacquainted with myself and my charming set of idiosyncrasies, I recognized the occasion calling for me to stop avoiding male attention and to start practicing the art of social bullshitting again. If it comes let it come, if it stays let it stay, if it goes, well, let it go. If he responds intermittently to you, then yeah, you’re not the only girl in his contact list. Taken from the mouths of our wise elders, “Don’t make someone a priority who treats you like an option.” Seriously.

Be grateful for the opportunities provided, in whatever form they come.

You can't meet anyone because you are being too demanding. Women can be told that they are totally within their rights to only ever consider someone who is over 6 foot tall, with model good looks, who has their own business and no 'baggage' from previous relationships or they can be told that, they can it, but if they are serious about meeting someone they should be more realistic and, yes, lower their expectations. Men in their late thirties want to date women in their twenties, and men in their early forties want to date women in their early thirties, men in their late forties want to date women in their late thirties but are likely to have baggage. In other words, unless you are a Victoria's Secret model in her late thirties (is there such a thing?

) Then the reality is, you are unlikely to get everything you demand on your shopping list.

And the older you get the smaller the pool of men - without the pressure of a biological clock men don't have the same sense of urgency that women feel, and there 'attractiveness' isn't so directly linked with their age, they have a wider age net to cast, so are either dating women ten years younger than themselves, are married or divorced (and we don't do baggage do we).

Internet dating has made it all the more difficult, when you are reading lists instead of connecting with people in real life, even if it is just initially, it's little wonder women feel entitled to demand certain things from a partner.

Don't get discouraged or offended when you don't get a response to your message.

You feel like a time bomb if you don’t have kids already." data-reactid="21"1.

You feel like a time bomb if you don’t have kids already.

Dating in your early 20s is fun and irrational, and it is done with little regard for actual compatibility or long-term sustainability. I yearned to be comforted by the safety of a long-term partnership.

I had no idea what that meant at the time, but I knew it sounded nice.

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